One of the momentous moments in your life has arrived: your marriage proposal! It’s a time of celebrating the present, planning for the future, and honoring the past. What better way to evoke the timelessness of your commitment than with an heirloom engagement ring?
An heirloom engagement ring symbolizes attachment. It gives the wearer a sense of belonging and connection. Yet, just like family dynamics, heirloom engagement rings can be a tricky subject to navigate. Let this guide help you know the etiquette and options involved with this sentimental piece.
Here’s a peek at what this article entails:
- Is an heirloom engagement ring right for us?
- What is the social etiquette of heirloom jewelry?
- What are my options with an heirloom engagement ring?
- What if I don’t want the heirloom as an engagement ring?
Is an heirloom engagement ring right for us?
An heirloom engagement ring is a previously worn piece of jewelry from your family tree. It can be the exact engagement ring your grandmother wore and look like this Art Deco Floral Halo Engagement Ring from James Allne. It can be a diamond from your aunt’s necklace placed into a modern setting like this Graduated Milgrain Diamond Engagement Ring from Blue Nile. The options are abundant yet the nostalgia remains.
Heirloom jewelry is becoming increasing popular, particularly for engagement rings. According to a recent article in Rapaport magazine, current hot trends in jewelry include repurposing jewelry passed down from relatives, as well as “upgrading” family heirloom jewelry.
Figuring out what your future partner wants to sport on her finger for the rest of her life is an important step. The detective work to find her dream engagement ring can be overt or subtle.
With regard to heirloom jewelry, you can show your partner a picture of someone wearing the estate piece. Or the topic can come up when sharing family histories. Whether overt or subtle, communication is a powerful part of finding the perfect engagement ring.
Social etiquette of heirloom jewelry
It’s important to understand the sensitive nature of a family estate piece. Grandma may need time to mentally transition. Being patient with your family’s process will help you get to know your current and future family, as well as dissipate potential conflict.
Never assume you will get the heirloom piece in question. Be patient, not forceful, when you ask. You want the giver to be in a place where they are absolutely certain they are ready to part with this gift.
Find out if there are any expectations with the heirloom piece. For example, is the giver expecting to sit at the wedding table because of this gift? Are they alright if you alter the piece? Knowing if an heirloom piece will stay intact may affect their decision.
It’s also important to communicate with surrounding family members and let them know you’re using the piece. It’s much easier to talk about a prized estate piece over the phone with your distant cousin than hear about it at the wedding.
Many families enjoy heirloom engagement rings with no strings attached. However in some instances it may be easier to choose a new engagement ring. If you have a certain piece from your history that you’d like to replicate, create a custom ring with James Allen or Blue Nile. The possibilities are endless and trustworthy.
If you enjoy the vintage look, there are many new engagement rings that evoke similar sentiment.
Some favorites of ours?
- We love this Diamond Filigree Engagement Ring in yellow gold from JA.
- Another beauty is the delicate Heirloom Petite Milgrain Engagement Ring with its pavé-set round diamonds from BN.
- A flashier piece is the stunning Rose Gold Bird of Paradise Engagement Ring.
What are my options with an heirloom piece?
If you have an heirloom in your possession, there are a few steps you need to take. Even if you keep it in its original format, you’ll need to clean, appraise and insure the piece. This is the same method you use if you’re changing the size of the ring. Just keep in mind, it’s nearly impossible to keep the original integrity of the engagement ring if it’s being changed over two sizes (smaller or larger).
A good jeweler can work with you on finding a complimentary band. You can utilize the band to make an ensemble that fits your style– whether modernizing the look or maintaining a more vintage feel. For example, this Round Brilliant Diamond And Arrow Shape Wedding Ring from JA is a brilliant match for a solitaire diamond engagement ring with a vintage basket head.
Resetting a stone into a new, more contemporary setting is another great option. Your jeweler can take the heirloom diamond and create something like this Wide Band Solitaire Engagement Ring from Blue Nile. On occasion a setting can only be turned into scrap metal after stones are extracted. Talk to your jeweler about this possibility. And as you know, make sure the giver of the heirloom understands the potential changes beforehand.
What if I don’t want the heirloom as an engagement ring?
There are plenty of ways to maintain the sentiment of the heirloom piece outside of the engagement-ring-world. You can take the diamond from an heirloom engagement ring and find a match to create sophisticated studs like these from Blue Nile. If you go this approach, it may be helpful to check out Diamond Stud Earrings Guide: Best Places to Buy Diamond Stud Earrings in 2022.
A diamond pendant is another route to take when repurposing an heirloom engagement ring. Check out how this beautiful emerald-cut diamond as a pendant.
You can also match diamonds with other stones to create graceful pendants for all occasions. We love the diamond halo on this sapphire and the Petite Emerald and Diamond Curved Bar Necklace from BN. To further your research we suggest reading Purchasing a Diamond Pendant: Everything You Need to Know.
Final Thoughts
This is an exciting time for you! Remember to communicate extensively and be patient. It is well worth the treasure of a fulfilling engagement ring and healthy marriage. Enjoy it!
For more inspiration on repurposing jewelry or buying vintage, check out these helpful articles:
- Redesign Your Engagement or Wedding Ring After Divorce
- What to Do With An Engagement Ring After a Divorce
- Where to Buy Vintage and Antique Engagement Rings: A complete Guide
What we love about them:
- No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. James Allen will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
- Lifetime Warranty
- Free International Shipping
- Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
- Provide insurance appraisals
- One free resizing within 60 days of purchase
- Free ring inscriptions
- Best-in-class high quality imagery of all diamonds in stock
- 24/7 Customer Service
- Best-in-class packaging
What we love about them:
- No questions asked returns within 30 days of shipment. Blue Nile will send you a paid shipping label to return the ring.
- Lifetime Warranty
- Free Shipping
- Free prong tightening, repolishing, rhodium plating and cleaning every 6 months
- Provide insurance appraisal
- One free resizing within the first year of purchase
- High quality images of about half of their diamonds
- 24/7 Customer Service
- 100% credit towards future upgrades (must be at least double in value)
- Best in class fulfillment
Read More
- Ask a Diamond Pro: Finding a Stunning Round Diamond for $20,000
- Ask a Diamond Pro: Choosing a Diamond for a Baguette Setting for $11,000
- 10 Vintage Rings Inspired By Every Decade of the Last Century
- Ask a Diamond Pro: Finding a Yellow Cushion Cut Diamond for $3,500
- Ask a Diamond Pro: Princess Cut Diamond & French Pavé for Under $2,500